smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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