No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
