Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
