as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
