Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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