he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
