I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
