Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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