This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize