There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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