I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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