it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
