I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
