Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
