I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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