It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
