Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize