Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
