The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
