i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
