I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
