you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize