I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
