don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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