I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
