Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
