you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
