??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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