just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
