ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
