so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
