O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
