using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize