i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
