Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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