at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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