what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
