every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
