Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
