dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
