what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
