went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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