he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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