So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
