i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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