dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
