If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize