I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
