I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
