I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
