Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
