I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
