So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
do herpes really smell.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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