Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
