ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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