I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
