There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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