Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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