Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
