with your own penis?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
