Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
