Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
