I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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