I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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