God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
