Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
