i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize