dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
