I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
