I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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